If I know Different...

If I know Different, then I ought to live Different he said. THe wisdom, dripping from his mouth as he said it. How true that is! If I know Truth, then I ought to live that Truth. If I control my feelings, then I ought to live in those moments where I know everything is at peace and alright because of my God. If I sin, I am wrong, I am a sinnger, but there is HOPe and a VICTORY. Did Christ die on the cross for defeat? Did He die for my ransom, my hope, my victory? I love sin, if I am honest. My desire to sin comes natural, easy to me, I want to give in. However Christ died to give me freedom. Christ died to give me victory and there is victory. If for over 5 years I have not gone to a strip club, I can claim it is only because of Him. The desire is there, still, but Christ is bigger and my desire for Him is bigger!
Christ, help me hate the sin in my life. Help me hate the fact that I desire sinful things. Help me love what and who You have given me. Give me the strength to love my wife today, to love her in great and amazing ways. Help me show her what a Godly husband looks like and be the man You want me to be to lead her. Help my say no to sin, but not just no, help me detest it. Help me see the error in sin, help me desire You so much more. Heal me, help me, lift me up, rescue me! You are a big and great God. If You are for me, then who could stop me? You are with me, who can stand against me? I need You because I hate having to be a sinner, yet I love it so much. I need You, I need you to build up a hatred in my heart for sin, a hared in my heart to turn my eyes away from You, away from my wife, away from the responsability you have charged me with. You are awesome in power.
AMEN

Run to me Papa

Lord, do my tears count as worship today? These worries I have, being scared, unsure...does the fact I am here telling you this, does that count as worship? I have no doubt that you love me and I trust that You are a mighty God but why now do I cower, shake, tremble in these fears that Lord, right now life is tough? If Your affections are great for me, I ask, will that be enough? It sounds stupid realy, to ask, but am I not a finite, sinful child of Yours? Do I not struggle with these things? So many different things to be scared of and doesn't most of it tie into some sort of financial issue?
Lord, I want to be the most amazing husband I can be, the leader of this household but how can I be when it seems so tight. I know, I get it, I am putting my worth and value into how the cash flow is around the house, but next month it gets tight. Next month every cent matters and this seems somewhat new. Father, oh my precious Father I am so sorry for being scared. You know me though, You know how emotional I can be and how scared I can get. I am running to you now, crying out for you like the Prodigal Son and I just ask that You run to me and meet me. Hold me in You great big arms, love me, comfort me for God I am weak and I feel like I am barely holding on!
I love You. You are this God who sees me cry, who wipes the tears away, You hold me, You care for me. You laugh with me, hurt for me, You took the CROSS for me! You alone answer prayers. You alone know my future. You created me, I am Your workmenship! You crafted me, made plans for me and you created good works for me to fulfill for Your glory! Life is great and I miss out on so much of seeing that. When I struggle I am still blessed. I have so much but most of all I have You! Having You, a relationship, Your love, grace, mercy, salvation, and a promise is all I need.
I am running to Your arms Papa. Will You run to me like You always have? Run to me Papa...
AMEN