Jesus, You love me. Out of my heart comes evil. I am unclean. Lust and bitterness, silence and not living up to the victory You earned for me. All Champions have duties, responsibilities to follow and perform. As a victor in Christ, the victory You won for me at the cross, I must live clean. I must live a life worthy of the gospel as Paul says. You say You desire mercy, do I give it? You desire compassion, do I have it? Do I live a life worthy of the CROSS You died on?
John said it best "I must decrease so You may increase." If You increase then my life is worthy of the cross. If You increase, then my life, is worthy of championship status. You love me, You chased me, You bled for me. You are worth decreasing for.
What I love is that if I run away from You, well, You are everywhere! As far as I run, all I am doing is running back to You. I can't escape You! I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me. Oh Lord, You love me! You love me!
Today Father, I pray and give You praise. Nicole is pregnant, with a girl! I will be a great uncle again! How awesome for them! She is also now a member of Starting Point! Ian is serving with the tech team! How awesome to see them become closer to You. Your Son was right when He said all things are possible with God (Matthew 19). Father, I mean it, thank You. But Father, if I may ask: why not Miranda and I? Why am I not a father yet? Why is this such s driving concern right now or such a strong desire? I don't want to hold onto this, but with so many friends of ours pregnant or just had babies, well, it's hard not to desire this so strongly! I need You right now to hold me together. I need You right now to be my strength!
I know though my best friend, Anthony and his wife to be need You too! I so badly want to see Anthony have a great and strong relationship with You! I want to see him in Heaven, to have eternity with him, for him to have eternity with Your Son. I am feeling very bold, very ready to share the Cross, Christ, His blood, His sacrifice because Father, I need to have compassion on Him, to love Him, to share what You did with Him. Prepare His heart for You. Watch over him and Cindy and little Kya. They have a lot going on with custody and with a new puppy and preparing for a wedding. Lord, I want to see them succeed, for Kya to be safe, protected, loved on and cared for. Give Anthony the strength to lead her as a father of sorts and Cindy the patience and guidance to be a good momma.
I love You. I honestly do, Lord, You love me, and I am grateful. All things are possible with You. Give me mercy and prepare me to give mercy to others.
AMEN
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